Okay so how are your new resolutions going? Huge well done to you if you are still on track, then this blog will help you even further. If, however you are one of the 77% that have given up already or are likely to before the end of January then read on.
What is meant by resolution? Some of the dictionary definitions are:
1. To make a firm decision to do or not do something
2. The quality of being determined or resolute
3. The action of solving a problem
4. Or one of the meanings that I thought was a great analogy was that of “resolution” as it applies to music - moving an unstable sound (dissonance) to a more final and stable sounding one(consonance). Maybe we could replace that to mean moving an unstable action (addiction etc) to a more stable coping skill.
So why do so many people fail to stick to their new year resolutions?
By referring back to the possible meanings we can see that maybe the decision-making process needs to be questioned. In any given moment you are always making a choice, to have or not have that cake, cigarette, drink or not. A Decision is the upgrade of a choice. It’s a strength of mind and will. So not only can you make a choice to do or not do something but making a decision-deciding- (all other choices/options off the table) to change will result in you more likely to succeed. Remember though, when you don’t follow that diet, programme or new intention it is still your choice and firm decision!
The next factor is being determined. Again, here we have the meaning of determined as strong minded, single minded.
The ACTION of solving a problem. Are your actions just repeating past programming or have you enlisted a new way to resolve what you want to change in your life? If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have got. It can’t be any other way.
For something to change, change something.
However, one of the most important factors in creating success, is to have the correct mindset. If you are holding an old belief about yourself that you always fail, or its too hard or simply saying your resolutions wrongly, no amount of new action, decision making, or determination will create success.
It is vital to get the wording of your beliefs correct. Your mind is the single most powerful tool you own! But just like electricity it can either empower you or electrocute you!! Unfortunately, we all have thousands of unconscious limiting beliefs, thoughts and past conditioning that can surface just as we are about to embark on a new way of being. Mix that with the reptilian’s brain and desire to keep everything the same and no wonder people fail so easily.
Beliefs create feelings.
Each belief creates emotions and feelings
Consider the difference. “I can never stick to my diet” = heavy, despairing, failure, frustration, anxious, victim energy.
Or
“I now find an easy way to stay eating healthy”. = Feelings of positivity, success, confidence, lightness, pride, joy and sense of empowerment.
The first statement is unconsciously ordering yourself to “…. never stick to my diet”. The second statement is commanding yourself “…Find an easy way to stay eating healthy.”
Beliefs and emotions usually produce coping skills.
The reason you smoke, eat, shop, drink or do something excessively etc is to cope with the feelings. You want to avoid the tension, discomfort or emotion, so you choose something or someone to distract, dumb down or divert your energy to. Often many of your coping skills originate from having to find a way to deal with stuff as a child. However, this early self-programming is flawed and no longer relevant and is just like an old app still running in the background of your “neck top computer”, slowing you down or sabotaging your best efforts.
The power of your programming and beliefs are phenomenal.
They will either create or destroy your reality. What you consciously are aware of is just like the part of an iceberg you can see. Unfortunately, just as it is often the part of the iceberg you can’t see that sinks ships, so too the subconscious and unconscious beliefs, emotions, programming and coping skills are there ready to cause havoc when you least expect it.
So, the trick to success in new resolutions or goal setting is to make sure you have your intentions clear, your wording correct, your beliefs in alignment, acknowledge your feelings and command your inner self to find new coping skills. Simples! Then take appropriate and different action!!
Do you feel you could do with some support to reaching your goals?
Yes, then come and have a private session with me or attend one of my workshops with the horses to really get the goods on how to change your beliefs! The horses bring theory alive and help you discover what your new beliefs and coping strategies feel like.
What better way to start the year?
Next workshop dates Sunday 26th Jan 1.30-4.30 Taster session. Great way to dip your toe in the water (rather mud) to get an idea how coaching with horses works. Just £47 for the afternoon. Click here for more information...
Or commit to a full day workshop
Sunday 2nd Feb 10-4pm “Re-Solutions - How to get 2020 be your year of plenty”
This is a day jammed packed with the exact ways to release past programming and learn how to word your new beliefs, overcome self-defeating coping skills and set yourself up for real success.
Early bird price £127 (normally £197) places are limited so commit to yourself and book now.
Take action and call me 07801 567850 if you would like a free strategy call. You can click on the links or book your spot with me personally by email: wendy@theheartcentreuk.com.
“The single most powerful action you can do for yourself is to upgrade your “neck top computer”
Wendy Firmin-Price